Hushabye
by sammyjayne74
Summary: After their loss, Daniel and Shelley try to rebuild their relationship. But Shelley keeps pushing him away. Contains themes unsuitable for children. Contains original female character. Totally an AU.


Author: DannyNSamGirl  
Pairing: Daniel/Shelley  
Rating: M  
Summary: After their loss, Daniel and Shelley try to rebuild their relationship. But Shelley keeps pushing him away.

It had been exactly 6 months since they had been together and 9 months since they had first met and he had wanted to do some thing special for her. Every thing had been so hectic lately and they had hardly any time alone together. In fact he hadn't seen her for a week. Due to mission conflicts they had past each other by. Shelley had been off sick and he had been in Russia. Now he had been given time off to relax. Daniel couldn't think of anyone he would rather spend his time with, than with her. It wasn't just the work that was hectic; their relationship had been fraught with problems right from the start. Over the last month or so, things had quietened down a little. Which they were both thankful for, even if a little sad. Both of them had been exhausted from the chain of events but happy. A week ago some thing happened to change their relationship. For all of that day and night, Daniel had never left her side. He had held her most of the time, listening to her, comforting her as she cried in his arms. Daniel hadn't known what to say to her. Nothing he could say would make up for it. For what they had both lost and for what they could have had. Daniel had just wanted to be close to her. To make her realise that he was there for her and that he wouldn't leave her alone. But they had avoided the topic of conversation. Deciding to go through it alone.

Daniel stood in this kitchen, making the final preparations for their evening together. The last week had been upsetting and emotional for them both. He just wanted everything to be perfect for her. Daniel smiled as he heard the doorbell rang.

'Just a minute.'

He lit the last candle and dimmed the lights in the living room, making his way over towards the door. Daniel stood and looked around, checking to see if everything was ok, and it was. He smiled to him self, opening the door. His smile soon disappeared as he saw the wrong O'Neill in front of him.

'Jack.' he said. 'What are you doing here?'

Jack pushed past him, heading in to Daniel's apartment. He stood, looking around, staring at the candles.

'I was at a loose end, thought you might... Am I interrupting something?'

'Actually.'

Before Daniel could say anything he heard footsteps behind him. He turned seeing Shelley in the doorway.

'Hi.' He said.

Daniel smiled at her. He hadn't seen her for over a week. Some times he nearly forgot how beautiful she was. But there was all ways her photo by his bed and on his desk in his lab at the base to remind him. When he didn't wake up next to her, he would all ways look at her picture, a constant reminder of how much she meant to him. Shelley saw her brother standing in the middle of the room.

'Jack.' She said.

He turned around to look at her, noticing how pale she looked.

'You look terrible.' He said. 'I've been trying to call you. Dr Fraiser said you were off sick.'

'I've fine.'

'Well you don't look it.'

Daniel looked at her, knowing the reason why she looked so pale. He took her hand, leading her into his apartment.

'You should sit down.' He said.

Jack turned the lights back on and sat next to his sister. She did look terrible.

'Are you going to tell me what's going on?' He asked. 'I went to your apartment. The woman next door said you hadn't been there for a few days and that a cab dropped you off yesterday.'

Jack waited patiently for her to answer, but it wasn't as forthcoming as he hoped. Shelley sat in total silence, staring in to nothing.

'I think I should go home.' She whispered, standing.

'I'll drive you.' Daniel said.

'NO. I want to be on my own.'

Daniel reached out his hand for her, but she pulled away moving towards the door. Jack watched as Daniel followed her, but never got the chance to say anything else. She left the apartment with out saying another word.

'What's going on?' Jack asked.

Daniel shook his head.

'Nothing. She's probably still not feeling well.'

'I can see that. What I want to know is what was wrong with her.'

'Your going to have to ask her that.'

'Well I'm asking you. She never talks to me any more. She all ways tells you.'

Daniel looked up at him, feeling a sense of jealousy in Jack's voice.

'Oh I see. Your jealous because when she has a problem she comes to me instead of her big brother.' Daniel said.

'That's crap Daniel. I just want to know if she's ok. Why don't you just tell me?'

'I can't.'

Jack stood, coming face to face with Daniel.

'Fine. I know that there's something going on Daniel and I'm going to find out what it is.'

He moved past him, heading towards the door, hoping to catch Shelley before she left the building.

'Where are you going?' Daniel asked.

'To go and find my sister. Maybe she'll tell me.'

'DON'T.' Daniel shouted. 'Leave her alone. She doesn't need you interfering, she's been through enough.'

Jack turned back, a look of frustration on his face.

'Then tell me what the hell is going on?'

Daniel sat down, not knowing where to start. Jack sat next to him, feeling that what ever had been going on that it was important. He looked at his friend, seeing sadness in his eyes that he had never seen before.

'What is it. Is she ill or something?' Jack asked.

'No, no she's fine. It's just that...'

Daniel didn't know how to say it. Just the thought of what had happened made him upset.

'You know that she's been ill every time she comes through the gate.'

'Yeah.'

'She was worried that it was more than that. So she went to see some one about it. Shelley didn't want to see Dr Fraiser in case some one found out about it.'

'You mean me?' Jack asked.

Daniel nodded.

'Yes. I went with her. He told us that she was pregnant, but that there was some kind of complication and that he needed to run some more tests and that he'd call us with the results the next day.'

Jack sat and listened, not wanting to say anything. In fact he had been shocked by what he had been telling him. Not the fact that Shelley was pregnant, but the fact that she didn't want to tell him about it. What did she think he was going to say to her?

'We waited all afternoon for him to call, then he did.'

'And?' Jack asked.

'He said that there wasn't anything he could do and that there was no way for her to have known. It was just one of those things.'

Daniel stood, pacing the room in frustration and anger.

'She wouldn't even let me go to the hospital with her.' He said, his emotions finally getting to him as he tried to fight back his tears.

'I'm so sorry.' Jack said, finding that the words seem inappropriate but not being able to think of any thing else to say to him.

He stood trying to offer his support but Daniel just moved away.

'She said that she wanted to be on her own and that I'd only get in the way. How could she say that?'

Jack shook his head.

'I don't know.'

He looked up at him, seeing that Daniel was desperately trying to keep it together and not succeeding. He moved around the room, blowing out as many candles as he could.

'Look at this place. I was trying to make her feel better, but I guess I didn't do a very good job. She couldn't get out of here fast enough.'

'I don't think me being here helped.'

Daniel shook his head.

'No. It was me. She just couldn't stand to be around me.'

'I'm sure that's not it. Maybe she just wants to be on her own.'

'It is. She blames me for what happened to her.'

'Why?'

'It was that afternoon in the lab. If I'd had just let her go, if I hadn't have made her stay. This wouldn't be happening now.' Daniel said.

'I'm sure she doesn't think that.'

Daniel looked around the room.

'How could this have made her feel better. It looks more like I was trying too... No wonder she couldn't get out quick enough.'

He reached over, knocking most of them on to the floor.

'What was I thinking?' He shouted.

'Hey, take it easy.' Jack said.

Daniel stared at him, not knowing how he was supposed to take it easy.

'I don't know what to do Jack. She won't talk to me. You saw how she was.'

'I guess your just going to have to wait until she's ready to talk.'

'But what about me? This wasn't just her this happened too.'

Jack nodded, understanding.

'I know that and she probably does to.'

'I just want to hold her, to try and make it better for her. But she won't let me.'

Jack didn't know what to say to him. He'd never had to deal with anything like this before. It wasn't just Daniel he was concerned for. He was more worried about Shelley.

For the last 2 hours Shelley had sat in her lab, doing nothing, just sitting there. Only 2 weeks ago everything was going fine, until this happened. Now she didn't know what to do with her self. She had spent 3 days of the week in hospital, alone, trying to cope with what had happened. The truth was that she wasn't handling it very well. When she was alone, she had been unable to stop her self from crying. Shelley had never thought about having a family, but when she had been suspicious about the fact that she might be, she couldn't stop her self from thinking about it. There had been the usual anxiety about her relationship with Daniel and the fact that he might not want to have a child with her. There had also been the thought that she wouldn't make a good mother, being as she hadn't had one for most of her life. As a child she would look at all her friends and wandered why she couldn't have the perfect family. But Shelley didn't know it at the time was that she had. Jack had all ways been there for her, when he could. It had just been certain circumstances that had changed the nature of their relationship. Now things were different. Shelley knew that she could all ways rely on him when she needed support. This situation was different. She didn't really want anyone to know what had happened. Although, Dr Fraiser had been told, there wasn't anyone else Shelley wanted to know about it.

'Shelley.' A familiar voice said from behind her. 'I thought you might be here.'

Her head turned slowly, seeing her brother standing in the doorway.

'I tried you at home.' He said.

'I guess I didn't' feel like going home after all.'

Shelley turned back, still staring at nothing. Jack walked over, sitting on the empty chair next to her.

'Why didn't you tell me?' He asked.

She looked up at him, certain that Daniel had told him what had been happening over the last week or so.

'Daniel told you?'

Jack nodded.

'Yeah. He needed to talk to some one Shelley. What I don't understand is why you haven't talked to him about this?'

Shelley didn't know what to say. The truth was that she didn't know why she had left the apartment earlier. Seeing Jack there had made her feel anxious and she had to get away.

'I don't know what to say. It's all my fault.' She said.

Jack shook his head, not believing it for a moment.

'How can you say that. It's not your fault.'

She stood from her chair, pushing it from under her.

'Yes it is. If I'd have realised that I was pregnant earlier, they might have been able to do something. And he wouldn't hate me for it.'

'He doesn't hate you Shelley. He loves you.'

'Really. Then why isn't he here, instead of you.'

Jack's head turned towards the door. Shelley followed his stare, both of them seeing Daniel standing in the doorway. Jack stood from his chair, moving over towards his friend, leaving the two of them alone.

'How could you think I could blame you for this?' Daniel asked, entering the room.

'Because it's my fault. I should have realised sooner.'

'You couldn't have. You found out as soon as you could.'

Daniel stood in front of her, wanting to hold her, but not sure whether she would run out on him again.

'Maybe I was too scared to realise what was going on. Maybe it knew that I wasn't sure I wanted it.'

'Hey.' Daniel said. 'That's not true. I know you wanted it and so do you.'

'Yes, when it was too late. I was too late.' Shelley said as the tears began streaming down her face.

Daniel's arms opened, holding her close to him softly. He felt her arms around him, scared to let go. Shelley couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They fell down relentlessly, showing no signs of stopping. Daniel wiped them away.

'We lost our baby.' She sobbed.

'I know, my angel. I know.' Daniel whispered.

Shelley looked up at him, finally seeing the tears in his eyes. She kissed him softly for a moment, feeling his arms around her grow tighter. Shelley leaned over, resting against him, not wanting to move. Not wanting him to leave her alone.

Jack stood out side in the corridor, having listened to their brief conversation. His head peered in side for a moment, watching as they held each other. Finally giving what the other needed. It was going to take them a while to get over this. But, he knew that they would, as long as they were together.


End file.
